Dealing with my gut issues over the past year has forced me to face my relationship with food head on. Over the past two decades, it has been complicated to say the least. As someone who used to binge eat in my 20s, I spent years swinging between extremes—overeating, overthinking, and then trying to “fix” it by being more disciplined, more controlled, more perfect with my choices.
On the outside, it looked like I had it together. I learned about nutrition, built healthier habits, and genuinely shifted the way I was eating. But internally, something still felt off. There was this underlying tension around food that I couldn’t fully explain—subtle guilt, lingering shame, and a sense that eating still carried more weight than it should.
For a long time, I asked myself the same question: What is wrong with me? Why can’t I just have a ‘normal’ relationship with food?
Cue the shame spiral…
What I’ve come to realize is that my relationship with food was never just about the food itself. It was shaped by years of experiences, emotions, and memories—some of which I hadn’t fully processed. And recently, I came across research that helped me finally put words to something I think so many of us feel but don’t always understand.
The Research Study That Provided a Perspective Shift
The study, “The Incidental Influence of Memories of Past Eating Occasions on Consumers’ Emotional Responses to Food and Food-Related Behaviors,” found something incredibly validating:
Our past eating experiences don’t just live in the past—they actively shape how we feel about food in the present.
Specifically, the researchers found that recalling previous eating experiences—especially uncomfortable ones like overeating or bingeing—can influence our emotional responses to food right now, even if we’re not consciously thinking about those memories.
The “Emotional Lens” Around Food
The study describes how past eating experiences create what we could think of as an emotional “lens.”
If you’ve had difficult or shame-filled experiences with food, that lens can subtly color how you interpret everyday eating moments.
This can look like:
- Feeling guilt after eating, even when the meal was balanced
- Overanalyzing food choices
- Feeling out of control around certain foods
- Experiencing anxiety before or after meals
And often, this is happening subconsciously.
You’re not choosing to feel this way – it’s neuroscience. Your brain has been programmed and conditioned to feel this way, even if you are not conscious to those feelings at meal time.
Why This Is Even Stronger for “Healthy Eaters”
One of the most interesting findings from the study was that these effects are even stronger in individuals who actively monitor or restrict their eating.
If you’ve ever:
- Followed strict food rules
- Labeled foods as “good” or “bad”
- Tried to control your intake tightly
…then your emotional response to food may be even more influenced by past experiences.
This creates a cycle:
- Past overeating led to guilt/shame
- Increased restriction/control
- Heightened emotional response to food
- Repeat
It’s not a lack of willpower.
It’s a learned emotional pattern.
The Emotional Hangover of Eating
I like to think of this as an emotional hangover.
Just like a physical hangover lingers after the moment has passed, emotional experiences with food can linger long after the actual eating event.
How This Impacts Your Gut & Body
Shame and guilt are not just “mental” experiences—they are physiological states. They are also very powerful emotions to bring to the table.
When these emotions show up at meals, your body responds accordingly:
- Your nervous system shifts into a stress state
- Digestion slows down
- Nutrient absorption can be impaired
- Bloating and discomfort may increase
Your body doesn’t differentiate between:
- A stressful meeting
- A stressful thought
- A stressful meal experience
To your nervous system, stress is stress.
So if eating is paired with guilt, anxiety, or shame—even subtly—your body may quite literally struggle to digest your food.
For me, this was a lightbulb moment.
No wonder my gut felt off for so long.
It wasn’t just what I was eating, it was how I was feeling while I was eating. One day I became aware of how braced my belly was at meal time. I believe this was a subconscious physiological response to deeper emotional wounds around food. But once we bring what’s subconscious to the surface, we can increase awareness around the pattern and start to rewire it.
Rewriting the Story
The most important takeaway from this research is not that we’re “stuck” in these patterns.
It’s that awareness creates the opportunity for change.
Your past experiences may have shaped your current relationship with food—but they don’t have to define it.
A few gentle shifts you can start with:
- Bring awareness to your emotions at meals
Not to judge—just to notice. - Pause before or during eating
Even one deep breath can shift your nervous system. - Normalize your experience
There is nothing “wrong” with you. Your brain is doing exactly what it was wired to do. - Create new, safe eating experiences
Over time, these begin to reshape that emotional lens.
And most importantly:
Remind yourself: That is no longer my story.
A New Way to Understand Your Relationship with Food
If your relationship with food has ever felt heavy, complicated, or emotional…
This might be why.
Not because you lack discipline.
Not because you’re doing something wrong.
But because your body and brain are carrying memories that haven’t been fully processed.
And that changes how you experience food today.
A Question to Reflect On
Have you ever noticed a connection between how you feel emotionally about food… and how you feel physically after eating?
