Asking For What You Need

As a mom, asking for what I need is a whole other animal. There is a lot more guilt associated with self-care. Before my son was born, if I needed time to myself, I typically took it without second guessing myself. But in motherhood, I have definitely lost that luxury. If you are also a parent, I am sure you can relate. For one, there is the expectation to be there for my child, putting his needs before my own. There is also that sense of control attached to parenting; I would just rather do certain things myself rather than ask for help. Lastly, carving out self-care almost seems to require more energy, forethought, and planning, ensuring all ducks are in a row so I can actually enjoy my “me time.” I just have to remember that in order to show up for my family, I have to be the best version of myself. As an introvert, this entails asking for alone time when I get the opportunity.

We had another trip to Charlottesville on the books for this weekend, but I decided to stay back and come up Saturday instead. I really needed a toddler-free evening, and while yes, I had some guilt for not going up with everyone else, I knew this was what I needed to recharge my batteries, and (joy)fully partake in the festivities with family.

After Alex and Mason hit the road, I relaxed, fixed a nutritious dinner, and turned on reality TV. Bravo shows are definitely a part of my self-care!

My after-dinner sweet treat was half of a brownie with a piece of frozen banana (I like the consistency and contrast – almost like a small scoop of ice cream). I recently made Lauren’s flourless chocolate peanut butter brownies and they are amazing! Maybe the best brownies on the internet. I am going to do a full review post soon. They are that life-changing!

I was in bed by 8:45pm reading my book (currently reading The Women by Kristin Hannah and it’s five stars for sure), probably asleep twenty minutes later. It was glorious. Unfortunately, I woke up around 4:30am and never fell back asleep, but still felt better than if I had gone out of town. As I was journaling this morning, I had the realization that 75% of my responsibilities decreased overnight. Even the dog is at his sleep-away camp. Given that 3 of the 4 lives I am responsible for weren’t here, I got to create a pretty “flowy” morning.

I decided to forgo my usual overnight oats, and I treated myself to protein pancakes. I do not like savory in the morning, but instead lean towards carby-sweet. Pancakes are my favorite way to get a good amount of protein in the morning, which is so important for blood sugar balance, satiety, and sustained energy. I made up this recipe on the fly, so I will have to more formally recreate it in order to share, but ingredients include:

  • 2 eggs
  • 1/2 cup cottage cheese
  • 1 mashed, ripe banana
  • 1 scoop vanilla protein powder (I use Be Well by Kelly brand)
  • 2 tablespoons almond milk
  • some oat flour (this is the ingredient I will need to measure!)

These were delicious! I love to drizzle peanut butter on my pancakes instead of using maple syrup.

The rest of the day entailed cleaning and organizing Mason’s toys (de-cluttering is also a form of self-care), a workout, and a walk before I hit the road. Happy weekend!

Question: Whether you are a parent or not, do you have a hard time asking for what you need? Taking time for yourself or otherwise?