A few months ago, I received an email asking me to moderate a comment on my blog, Sara Smiles. Clearly I was confused; the last post was written well over a decade ago. In fact, the domain no longer exists. Type in sarasmiles.com, and you’re redirected to a landing page with a price and option to buy it.

But let me back up. In 2012, I started my first healthy living blog on WordPress (here is my very first post!). It was called Sara Smiles (a tribute to the Hall and Oats song), and I absolutely loved it. I would document my daily musings: what I ate, workouts, fun time with friends. I would pose questions, other bloggers would comment, and I would respond. It was my first foray into the world of internet connection and community. This was before Instagram, so readers not only had a higher attention span to read lengthier posts, but it was also a friendlier space.

I only kept it up for a couple of years. Since then, I have asked myself why I stopped. At the end of 2013, I ended up getting fired from my last 9-to-5. As a result, I had to move, landing in a cute carriage house belonging to one of my best friend’s parents. There was no internet (believe it or not), and because I was going through a lot in my personal life, blogging lost its luster. I didn’t feel called to write about how I was working three jobs to pay the bills, and I definitely didn’t want to document the fact I was living on peanut butter jelly sandwiches and sweet potatoes. What kind of content would that be?

Halfway through blogging, I switched from WordPress to a Bluehost site. What I realized after getting that email a few months ago, is that all of the posts after that change have been lost. But the original posts from May 2012 to October 2012 are still alive and well on the world-wide-web. I can’t tell you how excited I was to find them after all of these years (nerd alert), and I have been reading over them recently. It has since stoked a fire, or rather an ember, and I miss that mode of expression.

I have shared on my podcast that I am a little disenchanted by Instagram. I believe it is creativity in sheep’s clothing, at least for me. When I was posting more regularly, and attempting to build an audience, I felt as if I was being creative. But it eventually felt cheap, like a quick and easy way to produce something and stay busy. Even now, every time I get on the app, I end up feeling distracted and drained, not energized and empowered, which is ultimately how I want to feel in my daily life, especially where creativity is concerned.

When it comes to blogging, what I wrestle with is maintenance. It is so much easier to snap a photo and post it to Instagram stories. “Micro-blogging” if you will. Keeping up with a blog requires more of a process. Then I remind myself that I love the process, so I am giving it another shot.

What feels different is that I am not putting any pressure on myself. When I was writing Sara Smiles, it was before my brain felt like I had to monetize anything. I had a full-time corporate job, so financially, I was set. I simply blogged for the fun of it. So that is what I want to do this time around as well. Cheers!