Yesterday was my due date, so today marks 40+1. As I mentioned in a previous post, I could have sworn baby number two would come either early or on time, but alas here we are. I am not going to lie – my anxiety and discomfort are running high, and I’m also so excited to meet her and begin the chapter with two children. You spend so much of a pregnancy planning and preparing for birth, but the closer you get to your due date, you realize how quickly predictability and control fly out of the window. This reality goes against every fiber of my being, so I wait, let go, surrender, and trust.
For the past six weeks or so, we have hunkered down at home. There has been a lot of nesting, cleaning, organizing, and appointment making amidst the daily to-do’s and getting Mason ready for “back to school.” But when everything feels in order, there is only so much you can do. So I have also been walking, writing, resting, reading, and reflecting.
On my walk yesterday, I came across our neighborhood chalkboard and contributed to the cause:
During Covid quarantine, a man on my street put out this chalkboard. Ever since, there has been a “question of the day,” and it is always a highlight to see how others answer. I imagine my neighbors feel the same. In a time of disconnection, the chalkboard helped to create (and still does create) a small sense of community. Yesterday, I was the first one to write something, and given that I had my due date on my mind, my reply came easily to this open-ended prompt.
Here are some other thoughts from the day.
Every morning, I find myself turning to my new favorite breakfast bowl obsession: protein yogurt overnight oats. The concoction clocks in at 30 grams of protein, keeping my energy levels and satiety high. A couple of years ago, I was so stuck on the blood sugar balance bandwagon, that I would never have eaten oats in the morning, but incorporating carbs back into my diet has been a game changer. I plan to do a full post and podcast episode about this down the road. Separate post for this recipe coming soon as well! But in a nutshell, here is how I make it:
- 1/3 cup of gluten-free rolled oats, soaked in almond milk overnight
- 80g of greek yogurt
- 18-20 grams of Truvani vanilla protein powder
- Sprinkle of my homemade granola (I like a little crunch, but this is optional. You could also add some nuts or seeds)
- Fruit (berries, sliced banana, etc.)
In a small bowl, stir together the soaked oats, greek yogurt, and protein powder until combined. Add toppings of choice. Enjoy!
Speaking of carbs, I no longer adhere strictly to gluten-free (or dairy-free for that matter). Again, I think this topic deserves its own post, but not only have I found more food freedom with this wiggle room, but my digestion, energy, and mood are so much better! Who would have thunk it. I stand by the belief that removing both gluten and dairy from my diet served me in some way shape or form in the past, but by slowly adding them back, and continuing to keep quality in mind (i.e. locally made sourdough, greek yogurt/cottage cheese, goat cheese), I can actually tolerate them quite well. Yesterday as I was grocery shopping for the week, I spotted One Mighty Mill’s Everything Bagels and just had to buy. I was craving an open-faced bagel sandwich with my homemade egg salad. Delicious. If you are curious, here is how I make my egg salad:
- 3 hard-boiled eggs, chopped
- 1 tablespoon avocado oil-based mayo (such as Primal Kitchen brand)
- 2 tablespoons dijon mustard
- 1 tablespoon green onion, sliced thin (optional)
- dash of paprika and sea salt
In a medium bowl, combine the chopped eggs, mayo, mustard, green onion (if using) paprika, and sea salt. Stir to coat. Either enjoy immediately, or transfer to an airtight container to chill in the fridge. Store in the refrigerator for up to 4 days.
While at the grocery store, I got a little carried away with Mason’s back to school snacks. Last year, I packed the same thing for him almost every day (Gratisfied Oat Bars, Serenity Kids pouches, sunbutter sandwiches, veggie straws, etc), but I have been determined to broaden his horizons. For his lunches, muffins and sandwiches will still be the star of the show, but I told myself I would get more creative with the other compartments of his Bentgo Box. Here is what I packed him for his first full day:
- Banana muffin
- Yumi blueberry bar
- Grapes
- Pretzels
- Cheddar bunnies
Plus a bag of Lesser Evil popcorn and Serenity Kids Butternut Squash and Spinach pouch (not pictured).
The health coach in me strongly dislikes all of the packaged food, but his sensory aversions have made eating fruits and vegetables very challenging. I am hoping peer pressure will work wonders for his palate, but in the meantime, I just want him to eat.
I am so happy he has returned to school. For much of August, I have been crippled with mom guilt over his screen time. He has watched the iPad way too much, but I am trying to show myself some grace. Being so pregnant with debilitating SI joint pain for a good chunk of time, it really was so hard to get around, but I still feel bad about it. The other day we played a game and then I broke out some arts and crafts for coloring. It was fun!
Over the weekend, I found myself perusing through old pictures of our Europe Trip. I posted the sights, surroundings, activities, and a lot of the food. Looking at the Instagram grid from that time period reminded me how colorful everything was over there. It stirred some nostalgia as well as some recipe inspiration for the future.
Last year, I found an old archive of posts from my former blog, Sara Smiles .
I can’t tell you how happy this made me. Given that these posts were over twelve years old, I thought they were gone for good. Upon rediscovery, I read over a few posts, but then forgot about it. I have recently been reading it again, and my due date marks the day I read the last post that I have access to. While I felt a little sad I couldn’t continue the trip down memory lane, reading my old blog has ignited and inspired a creative spark I haven’t felt in years. I don’t know if people read blog posts anymore, and I almost don’t care. Let me rephrase that-of course I care, but I’m in a place of appreciating the process more than I ever have. It’s as if I have been reintroduced to an element of my authenticity I buried deep in the past decade of business building, entrepreneurship, and attempting to prove my worth via external achievements. I love writing, blogging, creating, and simply sharing thoughts. It’s who I am, and I’m excited to be tapping back into it.
I saw this checklist on @msdlifestyle’s Instagram stories yesterday. In the final weeks of my pregnancy – and especially on my due date – I feel as if I have lost any sense of a wellness routine. But I loved this checklist, and I can’t wait to feel normal again, physically, mentally, emotionally. I know the postpartum healing journey is its own animal, but having gone through it before, I at least have the gift of knowing it will pass.
Because time does fly. I have been trying to soak up these days with my first-born. It sounds cliche, but it seems like yesterday we were going through these exact feelings with his pregnancy and birth. He was about a week late, and the newborn phase when you’ve never experienced it before is stressful to say the least. Now I witness him watering flowers and I wonder where my baby went.
I’ll end this post with my final thoughts. On the day after my due date, I’m a mixed bag of emotions. There is a lot of this and that. I’m excited and on the brink of tears. I feel energetically ready and I haven’t been sleeping and I’m already exhausted and she’s not even here yet. I’m welcoming change and I miss feeling stable and strong. What I’m learning is that both can exist. Life is always in flux, in flow. It’s a humbling cocktail of love and fear. Cheers to that.
