Someone recently reached out to me for health coaching, explaining in her email she was having trouble with consistency. It got me thinking about the concept of consistency, and like anything health and wellness related, I believe it to be highly individual. There was a time when consistency for me meant perfection; in other words, when the weekend rolled around, or a vacation came up, I wanted to maintain certain healthy habits I had established to a tee. No veering off course. There was a reason my mind had formed such conditions (due to some PTSD, which I explain more in my upcoming book Counting Colors), but it left little wiggle room for anything outside what I deemed to be “healthy.”
These days, I love wiggle room. The term “living an 80/20 lifestyle” has almost become too cliche, but it sums up my sentiments nicely. And this ratio can change. Sometimes it’s more like 90/10 for me – 90% of the time I feel very aligned with healthy habits, and the smaller sliver of pie is when I am indulging in things that might not serve my highest self, but that is okay.
In my book, I also talk about the difference between “cell-nourshing foods” and “soul-nourishing foods.” The former are those foods that are nutritionally beneficial to my body: green smoothies, salads, supplements, etc. The latter entails those foods that, again, might not completely serve me, but that I love and enjoy: burgers, pizza, wine, beer, birthday cake (you get the gist). And did you know that science supports the fact that if you eat your soul-nourishing foods with pleasure and enjoyment, you will better metabolize them? Issues arise when we deny ourselves what we really want. That is the power of the mind-body connection!
I have since expanded this cell-nourishing and soul-nourishing philosophy to encompass habits, behaviors, and experiences. Let’s take the weekend for example. When I was health coaching, I worked with so many women who had trouble staying “consistent” on the weekend. According to them, they would be “good” throughout the work week, and then swing to an opposite end of the spectrum on Saturday and Sunday, only to start the subsequent work week feeling like shit. But if you think about it, the weekend does usually look different than the more structured routine of Monday through Friday. So how can we work with this rather than feel as though we are fighting against it? The trick is to avoid that cycle mentality, as it only leaves you feeling defeated and anxious (which is not how wellness is supposed to feel).
When I realized that the weekend will in fact be different, I knew I could have the best of both worlds. Walk the middle way if you will. Be someone, rather than “effort” my way to doing something. Let me explain.
I asked myself Who do I want to be on the weekends? I wanted to be someone who still maintained many of her healthy habits no matter the day, but left room for fun and flow. Considering my core pillars of wellness – nutrition, movement, mindfulness, sleep – there are always going to be non-negotiables. For example, I crave healthy food. This past Friday, my family and I ate out twice (both lunch and dinner). For lunch, I wanted something nutritious and light. I ordered a salmon salad, but also had a glass of rose. For dinner, after attending my son’s preschool costume parade, I really wanted a beer and burger. I got a side salad with my burger, ate a few french fries (no big deal), and stopped eating when I felt satisfied. The next morning, I resumed scheduled programming as usual: made my frothy coffee, fixed protein pancakes for my family, went on a long walk, drank electrolyte water, had a protein chocolate smoothie when an afternoon craving set in. Saturday night then entailed splitting a bottle wine and cooking Bouillabaisse with my husband. Wiggle room at its finest.
I have even chunked it down to asking myself who do I want to be today? in order to be even more present. This happens on a random Wednesday, and waking up in a new city during travel. It’s about being in the energy of who I want to be, no matter my external circumstances. When I was stuck in a cycle, the energy was a lot lower vibe – restriction, rules, anxiety, and struggle. These days, the energy is balanced, light, joyful, and flowy.
As you can see, I do have a sense of consistency, but it is not about perfection. It’s much more fluid. My health and wellness includes these moments of soul-nourishing foods and experiences, rather than opposing them.
What does consistency mean to you? How do you navigate weekends and other experiences outside of your regular routine?
